one fine, super-hening morning...

this morning...

i'm ready to go to work, but alas i'm stuck here in front of ayu's computer writting a bunch of unwanted stuffs...

i dont know where has this 'talent' of mine, writing to pour all the crumple things inside this aching heart of mine, has gone??

i usually do that.. in a very stylish way... chewah!

not that i'm not grateful of what GOD has given me..

but as per current situation... i'm blurr...

suddenly i turned into this very pessimist person that only darkness in my line of work. so afraid to touch the water, soo scared to go and pijak the land mines, the fear encrypted upon the wall of my heart.

suddenly, my brain also is not functioning berry well... thus, again... the decision-making component has totally broken and need a very good overhaul.

Ya ALLAH.. berikan la sedikit enlightment kepada budak mengong nie.

kenapa dier jadi terlalu negative? hasnt she learnt from the past? hasnt she seen enough?

dah lah.. pi la keja.. and doalah agar hari ini lebih baik dr hari2 semalam.. semoga segala urusan dipermudahkan. =) amin...

boleh tak??

boleh tak kalau nak pergi dr sini sekarang???

boleh tak kalau nak tinggalkan semua nya..

and just go...

boleh tak kalau hati ini stop torturing the head and just fly off..

boleh tak kalau i nak evaporate into small particles of H2O and vanish..

why am i so in vain again???

memoir of a cliche moments...

it's so cliche.. so predictable and sooooo typical of husna...

the feeling of running away, leaving everything behind as she started to feel attach to it...

so many times that she strive to maintain this abnormal habit..

like the time she had this crush with a guy, and purposely cut-off all connections just so that she wont get her heart hurt, even when she realised she never tried to open-up to him..

or when she wished she had a brain-anuemerism so that she will loss her memory and forgot a bunch of friends (who btw, mistreated her) ~ she did forget them, but her brain veins are still intact.

or when she has found something she is cherishly doing but just because SHE foresees that she couldnt do it, or THINKs that she might not be able to perform as good, she starts jeopardising it. (note: THOUGHTS can be dangerous. jgn ikut gaya budak ini!)

the thing is.. she wishes/prays very hard so that she will continue doing things she is currently juggling. she loves her job.... she really do, but the walking-into-the-wall-and-bang-herself-hard routines have finally got half of the best part of her... (yeah, my head hurts to!)

she has the love of her life.. but what she's currently doing?

she's pushing him away.. away from her.. why?

1. she's such a drama-queen.. a bad one..

2. she's so afraid of getting hurt that she forgot that only thru heartache that one can learn to stand and face the world.

3. he's not for her (ada yg lebih baik untuk si dia!)

the only thing she could think of is....

she just wanna go away.. she just wanna leave, grab her purse, get a credit card (sempat lagi tue), get into one of those plane and fly off.. tak kira la mana plane tue nak landing, dier rela pegi... right now, she's willing to join MERCY/UNESCO/or any other NGO so that she can get the hell out of here.

dah lama dah dia rasa, tempat ini.. bukan untuknya. tanah ini memang tanah bertuah. tp tanah bertuah ini bukan untuk dia buat sementara waktu ini.. bukan tak bersyukur dengan kurniaan TUHAN atau takdirNYA, but her heart is no longer here... mengapa???

now she is currrently listening to selena-no mor quedamas.. and that tune stuck in her head. and the melody really tells her to go.. just run..

but the irony is: the farthest place on earth you can go is only a step away.. bumi nie kan bulat...

something within, being forced to come out...

had this weird dreams lately....

most of the time my dreams would involve something to do at work.

so when i dream of something else, it could make up my day.

oh yeah; talking bout work.. it's tough and I AM SOO struggling but yet, i'm still wanna be there, wanna make it thru.. hmmph...

typical: if u have fallen in love with something, u'll try as hard as u could not to let go. currently.. 2 months to go before the contract ends.. *sigh*

enough about that...

i have this feeling.. of something so badly wanna come out...

kak jude said it's the bad side of me that really wanna take over..

not that kinda of crime baddy thingy.. (altho there are times where i was thinking of scratching somebody's car!)

it's hard to describe... ok.. here's the list of things, i really wanna do:

1. Car - Gokart racing...

i never enjoyed watching race car show, but people who have ride with me, knows pretty well how i steer my ride! =) i fell asleep during jammed, and when there's a clear highway, i dont mind going up to 160km/h.. kesian 'blue omnibus' itu.. =)

it's a way of releasing yourself from anger and frustration, in a very dangerous attitude...

that's why i need to join this racing business...

2. Travel

every morning when i'm off to work, i will see a plane flying by in that light blue colour sky at least once.. from firefly to Thai air, it never stopped amaze me on how can people afford such a trip.. i am so gonna get onto one of those plane and just go.. i've planned a trip to UK. so wish me luck, hope that i can be there 2011. =)

3. go for a wild night in KL..

go figure!

4. Driving aimlessly until the tip of North Asia and patah balik...

ada jalan ke? =P

5. and scuba diving... and try to live under water for a while. =0

.... weird.. a bridezilla to be....

tak tahu aku nak salahkan sapa..

tak tahu kenapa aku begini..

tak tahu sejak bila aku jd silent reader future blog bride to be ini..

but as far as i'm concern...

i'm hooked up..

i cannot seems to stop smiling when reading about the journey made by some of them..

sesetengah tue dah selamat dah jadi mrs...

entah kenapa..

aku dah mcm nak suh je dia yg ku sayang, masuk minang cepat2...

dah tak tahan nak menanggung asmara..

lama benar rasanya 2-3 thn tue...

hehehe.. GILER la! bulan pose kot nie...

tp itu lah perasaaan nyer...

i was soooooooooo in love browsing one wedding pics after another..

that i also involved in making my big day .. THE BIG DAY EVER IN MY LIFE...

lepas tue smlm dgr citer ada kawan aku nak tunang..

lagi la membuak2 rasa nak ikut jejak langkah sama...

pulak dah... hehehehe....

husna... seorang gadis lincah yang mmg gila..

straight forward, transparent and sangat2 independent when come to life...

dia seorang yg boleh gegarkan dunia dgn tawa, hiruk pikuk nyer..

sometime sgt insensitive ttg orang lain, ignorance (sbb tak nak cari pasal!)..

chameleon (bukan camelia)... can blend in almost anything...

tapi... bila dengan dia......

budak mengong nie jadi bertambah gedix...

sbb dier dah biasa jadi tempat bergantung, bila dgn dia..

budak nie jadi clingy yang amat sangat...

jadi manja tak tentu pasal... and of course so much in love..

when i started working 2 months ago (whooaaa!), i kinda becoming very busy...

and dia rasa terpinggir...

sebab husna ripaai dah develop perangai workaholic yg diperturunkan oleh abah dier (ada gak 2!)... so... dia rasa kehilangan bila mana diri ku tak lagi menghantar sms seperti selalu..

bila malam... terasa lebih hening, sbb i arrived home je, mmg terus kroih kroih~ tak sedar ada dia menanti ku...

now dia baru seminggu keja...

and budak mengong nie DAH rasa tak keruan..

tambah2 lagi bila dia mengatakan 'begini la abg rasa bila ayg keja'...

at least dia bleh control... dier masih menerima...

dia masih kata : tak per abg paham. tak per.. abg tahu ayg penat....

tp... oh tidak bagi diriku..

lebih2 lagi hari cuti begini...

aku menahan diri je nie, untuk tidak start keta dan drive all the way to salak tinggi ......

i rela you..

it's been 3 months since our REAL outing together... (air mata start bertakung!)

mmg la dier datang jumpa 15 mins di s'alam hari tue...

i was soooo over the moon sampai mcm melayang2 hari tue...

mmg la dier ada masa konvo and spend the whole morning with me..

tp it's not the same...

tahun nie mesti tak dapat berbuka sama2..

tahun nie mesti tak dapat kasut raya lagi..

i remember the 1st kasut dier belikan..

it was gorgeous...

thank you sayang.... thank u so much...

please take my hand and take me away.... please.. i'm waiting.... dont kept me waiting for so long.

evry downside has its own upside..

it was a rough week..

i brokedown, feeling like just flying off somewhere...

it all started when i have to cancel my half-day leave on the day my friends were gathering taking pictures all over ukm and deliberately post it on facebook...

not that it's their fault but... it was supposed to be my moment too.

i was supposed to be in the pic with them..

i was supposed to go gedix2 with them.. i was supposed to be there...

at first i couldnt care less, i thought.. things need to be sacrifice as it was my responsibility...

then.. i found out that it was a STUPID mistake done by someone..

and as that day went by, by 5pm i feel like exploding already...

something inside wanna come out but i wasnt sure what it was...

i was shivering, trying to hold the anger within me..

i have to fight myself to withheld my tears..

to cope with this i bought a cake... just to make me feel much better..

things couldnt get any worse..

everything was just pouring in and i acted as if i couldnt see it coming...

although i already knew..

somewhere during this week, i was like a lost child trying to figure out ways thru the jungle.

every turn i made, i bang into a tree, i saw dead end..

and a part of my brain component called decision-maker has malfunctioned.

worst still = i have to take the blame.. i have to swallow everything... and not being able to explain the whole situation..

i was so broken, that i went to sleep by the tasik shah alam.

i was so broken that i sat on the kitchen floor, crying not knowing what to do or say.

everything i touched or just being involved resulting in a piece of craps..

like a jinx.. and suwey like that...

and working around people who seem to have answers to everything = did not bright up the day.

and seeing that only when your superiors were around, then only your boat can sailed smoothly, as if you're useless and couldnt seem to move the boat on your own, made matters worst! =(

but the aftermath....

suddenly.. i feel like 'hey, it's ok. at least u made it thru in one piece'..

the last day of the week, i couldnt care less. the day was so alive and lovely, that i was just smiling all day long. i dont give a damn of what people said, i was being myself...

as sudden as it came up to me, it goes away so rapidly also..

there's a sudden gush of feeling that invented itself inside me, that tells me.. not to be afraid anymore. not to have this negative issues anymore... just go try to bang into those tree and u'll learnt how to avoid it the next time you're in the area. there's a spirit within so eager to take whatever challenges served that i could just said 'sir, can i do the technical release the next time around?' ... =)?

all seems not too scary anymore.. whatever heartache or bruises or cuts i got, heals on their own.

the only thing i'm uncertain is my intra-relationship with people close by.. (but, i figure it out later!)

i got a chance to shift things up, although i'm not so sure whether it's too late or not.. BUT i have to try.

i have a chance to look things in a very different perspective.. =)

that's supposed to be good, kan?

berkat hikmah mulia Ramadhan nie kot, yg buat hamba hina dina nie realise things.

Alhamdulillah.

hey in the end.. it is just work.... =)

go ahead and make my day... bring it on!

Husna Ripaai yg Bengong!

entah kenapa hari n ie aku rasa macam nak makan orang je..

bengang kan main...

lepas tue aku rasa stupid, silly and dont know what to expect...

rasa mcam nak dissapear je..

kenapa la aku ada ego sebegini tinggi..

kenapa la aku ada perangai pelik nie!

kenapa la aku sayang sgt keja tue??

kenapa la... afer all those nightmare,panic , bomb attack pouring onto me, i still going back there without hesitant...

macam orang kat gaza strip tue, kena bomb banyk kali lari...

aku kena la mcm mana pun, aku duk stay kat situ gak.. bodoh tak aku??

tp.. lain nyer minggu depan nie... semangat yg aku pupuk for one week leps mmg dah mula evaporate.

just because of that one miserable phone call, i'm back to where i was before ~self-defenseless-inferior-stupid newcomer!

i know i should not let those thing accumulate in my mind, but entah lah........

sekali lagi rasa kena crush.. sekali lagi rasa kena pijak2 cmm semut...

masalah ini takkan berlaku kalau Husna Ripaai tidak mempunyai EGO yg tinggi mcm pokok kelapa tue... ia takkan terjadi kalau dgn budak bengong nie, tak der high expectancy of what she is responsible to do...

giler2 tak giler... after that phone call, i rushed from putrajaya with phone at hand and at 130km/hr. speed limit mmg tak pernah wujud dlm kehidupan husna sekarang nie. tak terbilang la saman budak nie nnt. vrooooom.... sampai office, dgn baju kurung nyer aku masuk plan, redah cage tue sorang2 mencari barangan yg diperlukan... mmg dah rasa bahang dah masa tue.. nasib baik sempat. tp. confirm tajuk utama nnt: ada seorang budak mcm org tak betul nak menyediakan reference sample tue.. (it was a silly move!)

but.. let make things clear..

1. aku buat sebab aku dah nampak consequences nyer nnt.. what if bulk tue tak sama mcm reference? tak naya aku?? BUKAN sebab NAK IMPRESS. just to AMMEND~

2. aku call semua orang yg bleh bantu aku buat keputusan nie.. and yes, from my side, i made a right decision.

3. aku buat satu lg keputusan bodoh dengan memberitahu pakcik mukmin sayang tue ttg tindakan aku! satu benda yg aku takkan buat lagi...

4. masalah ini berlaku sebab aku baca email mcm budak darjah 1. terlalu occupied dgn WC sampai aku lupo benda lain yg akan berlaku... and aku mmg TAK tahu prod kena ada ref sample masa mixing... (goblox!)

5. benda ini takkan berlaku lagi.. tolong la husna... take one step at a time please.... supaya ko bleh cover semua benda.

agaknyer.. terkejut beruk pakcik tue dgn tindakan aku. speechless dier.. aku pun sama...

wakaka.. tp Husna Ripaai mmg daring dr dulu lagi...

mmg dah salah aku tak check betul2... dah salah aku lambat tangkap apa yg aku kena buat...

aku mmg tak sabar nak tunggu esok... cepat lah esok habih supaya aku leh berkonvo...

aku suka keja nie, but somehow.. aku dah start jeopardising it.. so plan B start now..

aku kena tanya Mel mcm mana dier nak dapatkan scholar amik MA kat UK tue..

aku mmg tak nak buat lagi MA nie, but somehow kalau orang dah tak nak amik aku.. takkan aku nak melongo tak buat apa2 kot..

mungkin juga cara aku keja nie, is because for the fact that aku hanya 6 bulan kat situ.. so aku nak grab semua opportunity yg ada utk mempelajari bidang yg mmg aku suka... so aku jadi overly-multi-tasking... =P

betul gak kata kawan2 aku... i AM toooooooo into work lately nie.. which is not good.

KONVO pun aku mcm tak peduli sangat (for the fact that it will be on tuesday and petang and my loved ones cannot make it)... tp serious.. kalau korang jumpa apa yg aku jumpa nie, korang juga akan berperangai sebegini.. mungkin tak seganas/sebodoh aku but... u'll see.. =)

biarla.. aku dah tak mampu nak ammend or narrow down the gap between us.. working style yg amat berbeza mmg telah membuat kan aku sgt berbeza. itu pun aku nampak aku sorang je berusaha utk mencari focal point where aku tak rasa weird sgt approaching him or others kat office tue... so.. prinsip aku seterusnya: i'll be more focusing on my learning and my works which i'm truly dedicated to (for now..) rather than trying to find ways to work with people..hehehehe...

aku tak suka di-provoke teruk2 sgt.. kejap lagi aku akan bertukar jadi kasar, arrogance and sarcastic.. this Husna is the one i've been trying to kill for as long as i could remember. mungkin i can combine this double personality and semua org akan jadi happy... masalahnya...

alter-ego Husna sgt tak berhati perut. dier tak amik port pun perasaan orang..

and nampak gayanya... aku dah start nak bertukaq ke arah itu kembali.... NO WAY!

lama kot aku mould Husna yg sekarang nie.. lama kot aku buat research and study on how to blend it with grace and likelihood yg semua org tak kira peringkat umur bleh kerja and selesa dgn aku supaya keja aku senang!

entahlah... rasa keliru gak nie. but.. truly.. i feel so de-motivated. rasa mcm aku tak tahu buat apa pun. rasa mcm nak tido je.. wahai mata, hati mahu menangis tp mengapa engkau menahannya?

mimpi yang bengong..

i was at a hotel attending a conference..

i saw friends..

new and old...

somehow, i am still being chase, to complete my task.

somehow.. i saw the checklist, i need to do next week.

somehow in that hotel they are serving white coffee and kopi tarik..

somehow, the lift in the hotel sounds like the lift in the HOU.

and then, i was driving home..

someone i know by pass me, and i clearly saw his car.

he was driving in to my residential..

and i clearly know why.. i was driving recklessly...

then, i pass thru a sharp corner (which exist in reality)...

and i saw his car bang into a tree..

i stopped.. somebody screaming 'get help..get help'...

i was the first one to his car, i open the door, calling out his name..

and he said 'i'm going to release you......'

~i woke up, with heavy breath.. gasping for air...

i reached for my phone, to wish 'have a safe trip'..

and then i realised....

'hey, u are not a friend'........

i put down my phone and seriously, now.... i am just plain nuts!

pra-monolog..

hari itu bermula macam biasa.. pukul 6.45, kereta biru itu sudah memecut meninggalkan perkarangan. kenapa awal sangat, soalan biasa dr ibu.. jawapan normal juga diberikan...

nak elak jammed...

tapi hari itu, ada sedikit luar biasa juga..

jantung berdegup kencang...

entah kenapa ada je org rasa aku akan screw up sooner or later..

am i going to???

entahlah..

aku berharap taufiq dan hidayah dariNYA..

tiada daya kita tanpa kuasaNYA...

DIA akan tunjukkan jalan cerah di hadapan..

sekiranya kita berusaha untuk melalui jalan itu..

tawakal je lah una ooooi.... u can do it!~ yes you can!

pada sapa patut aku luahkan...

giler la....

dr smlm hati aku nie meruntun sedih..

abg sayang aku pun tak larat nak layan dah..

aku asyik bebel benda yg sama...

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....

kenapa susah sangat aku nak let go nie..

kenapa payah sgt aku nak terima hakikat yg 'aku bukan hidup/kerja sendirian lagi nie!'

aku boleh terima kritikan.. tp kritikan itu berjaya bunuh aku daaaa...

dan yang lebih pelik..

semakin complicated benda tue, semakin membuak2 rasa nak tahu aku...

semakin mencabar challenge yg diberikan, semakin eager aku nak menghadapinyer..

sampai satu tahap, aku tahu kepala and badan aku tak leh nak terima dah! ish ish ish.

muahohoho.. and korang nak tahu yg bertambah weird nyer???

aku dah head over heal dgn apa yg sedang aku lakukan..

sampaikan ahad pun aku rasa lambat sgt berlalu... siap doa.. cepat lah isnin, cepatlah isnin... yg menariknya.. bnyk benda yg aku akan perolehi.

bnyk benda yg aku tahu aku akan gemari..

plant tue dah jadi mcm playground aku.. tiap kali aku masuk je ke dalam plant, aku jumpa my work-space.. my solitude... walhal bising dier bleh pecah gegendang telinga... tiap2 pagi aroma kopi yg fresh menusuk kalbu, membuatkan aku tambah kejang utk berada di situ.. =) TUHAN je yg tahu betapa aku berharap utk jadi permenant kat situ..

tapi...

kenapa susah sangat untuk aku hadapi homo sapiens nie...

kenapa aku jadi inferior tak tentu pasal.. somehow.. along the way, for the last one month, aku berubah menjadi somebody yg aku sendiri tak kenal...

pandang cermin nampak bridget jones, pandang cermin nampak jim carrey dlm me, myself and irene tue...

aku berjaya create HUSNA yg aku tak suka semata2 aku kena jaga hati orang..

aku berjaya merundumkan paras keyakinan aku, ke tahap yang paling rendah mcm BSKL masa gawat dulu...

aku berjaya merosakkan that fun-loving me, which will find it easier to interact with people... i flushed down my ego for the sake of the thing i love doing..

at the end of the day, i asked me back..

was it worth it? really.. your plan of becoming someone u dont even recognize will it work? does it help u improve somehow? does it does it?

nak kata PMS, dah nak hujung2 dah...

but one thing for sure... kritikan tak berasas tue kadang2 sangat boleh membunuh..

so lepas nie, muka aku akan jadi slumb je, with no other emotion to be potrayed. nanti org kata aku rude plak..

i've tried to be as plain-as transparent as i could, but somehow that doesnt work....

u lose it boy...

the more barricade you put around me, the harder for you to get to know me...

that's for sure... sorry la.. my barricade is even higher and tougher...

....an ending, or a starting point.....

desiran ombak membasahi kaki ku. langit senja makin malap namun aku masih di sini, menyusuri pantai berpasir putih... sesekali terdengar kuak bunyi sang enggang dan pelican bergemersik di ruang angkasa. terpaling aku melihat ciptaan TUHAN. betapa besarnya alam ciptaanNYA...

indah nian, permai dan tak terkata damainya..

ku lihat anak-anak kecil berlari berkejaran sesama sendiri, terus bermain tanpa peduli panggilan ibu di tepi.. membawa aku mengimbau.. alangkah bahagianya zaman itu..

tak perlu risau, tiada gusar.... tiada dugaan yang betul2 susah.. tiada kesusahan yang melanda..

aku juga pernah seperti mereka... bermain dengan tawa ria, ikhlas dan istimewa bagi diriku..

ku susuri lagi pantai ini.. terpandang pula pasangan dua sejoli duduk merapati.. Nauzubillah.. tatkala senja begini? bukan kah itu bisa mendatangkan erti yang tidak digemari... tidak kah mereka tahu berduanya mereka akan tiba orang ketiga...

aah.. yang ketiga sudah muncul... anak kecil yang merengek2 memanggil mama dan papanya..

ah, cepat benar diri ini membuat konklusi! sudah timbul prasangka yang boleh menaikkan amarah.. cepat2 aku menginsafi diri...

namun.. melihat itu.. entah kenapa bergenang air mata ku.. benar kah aku seorang prejudis? benarkah aku seorang hipokrit memandang enteng kehidupan ku sendiri? benarkah aku alpa mendalami setiap hati yang menyanyangi diri ini.. aku lelah sendiri...

saat bahagia itu.. sudah lama berlalu... aku tiada mengharap pada masa lampau.. mungkin... ia satu pengakhiran kepada setiap kebahagiaan yang pernah dikecapi.. mungkin juga ia satu permulaan kepada duka lama yang senantiasa berdarah... mungkin... mungkin....

kerana tragedi itu, aku di sini.. kerana air mata sayu, aku pergi...

kerana hati ini tak terdaya lagi, aku berlari... berlari jauh... dari bumi bertuah ini....

***end of chapter 1***

~ to be continued ~

down the memory lane....

forever love..

i was driving thru bangi alone just now..

and suddenly... something hits me..

flashes of memories past me by.. 

as if i was in a time tunnel or time-machine.

and so happen (although i know it is just in my head!)

'my memory', a song in Winter Sonata, harmoniously feels the air.. 

hahahaha... ('',) 

memories... surprise birthday party for amy.

doing stupid acting scene on the bridges of putrajaya..

naik motor keliling kampung till it's totally dark outside (i mean really dark!) 

bagi makan anak ikan (in putrajaya).

play2 along the roadside..

jalan cari makanan around Bangi..

huhuhuhu... missing the good all days...

my current living... sorority? i think NOT.. =)

whoaaaaa...

lama giler aku tak bukak blog nie.

it seems like almost a year ago and now i'm trying to revive up this blog of mine.

all of because kengkwan pi buh link to their blogs dekat FB depa, and suddenly, aku teringat

'eh.. aku pun ada blog gak!'.. wakakakaka!

haaaaaaaaaaaa... la nie maih cheq habaq mai..

of what's currently going on in my life..

not that anybody will seem to care.. but... what the heck... hehehe!

Sekadar nak mengurangkan kekusutan di hati yg duka lara nie.. wahahaha! 

Aku sekarang merupakan tukang masak paling kelakar dlm sejarah rumah en ripaai/pn bidari.

Sebab aku hanya nak masak je.. dah dua minggu duk umah, aku baru sekali je kot pegang penyapu. ada la curi2 ngelat mengerjakan baju kotor. wahaha.. semua tugas itu aku serah kan secara dominan pada adik2 aku yang teramat la comel dan cute miut tue.. wakakaka! 

abah kata aku aci 'mengayam'/'chickening' = curi tulang wat kerja rumah yg lain.

so aku tanya diri aku.. kenapa aku malas sangat nak mengemas nie??? kenapa susah sgt aku nak melipat and meng-iron baju yang sebakul besar banyaknyer nie?? the answers are simple:

1. aku tak suka lipat baju. mak kata aku lipat tak elok.

2. clothes duty tak pernah tamat.. dari hari ke hari..

3. mengemas?/ esok2 semak balik...

4. try to live with two of my hooligans...

5. you'll find your space and solitude whenever you're in the kitchen, cooking... at least for me that is.. wakaka! =)

eh.. kenapa aku merapu nie, u guys asked? sebab i am currently a non-worker, penanam anggur, driver, tukang kebun, tukang cuci paling maju kat rumah nie.. cuma..

I'm not always available.. hihihihihi! =P

trying to revive...

pin pom pon..

trying to revive up my blog..

just a place to share thoughts... 

take care...