tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15929153090620870782024-03-05T22:13:27.058-08:00ShinySunShine in dArK aGeS....bila aku sudah tiada.... kenang aku dalam doamu... and of course i'll haunt people whom i love.. that includes you! muahaha! =)unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-14348616702060469302011-03-05T01:34:00.000-08:002011-03-05T01:44:34.315-08:00ordeal..`am not sure what to write anymore..<br />whether the feelings should be poured out here..<br />also i dont know..<br /><br />the feeling of suddenly knowing that you are the culprit. <br />that have hurts most of the people you've love.<br />couldnt be any tougher to go thru..<br /><br />life apparently has been really challenging..<br />the thoughts of injustice and how hurtful your heart is.. really has made my day turns gloomy and blue. oh yeah. like this afternoon..<br /><br />why? i may ask.. how come those words have really eaten me alive?<br />how come.. if it's true, how come i didnt realise it sooner...<br />how come things got really complicated?<br />how come, INCIDENTS like this happened in every 2-3 years?<br />why?<br /><br />Astaghfirullah.. Husna.. you are talking like a person with no faith nor religion. you have the ultimate guidance, sebaik-baik pelindung, sebaik-baik tempat mengadu..<br />mengadu la PADA DIA.. sesungguhnya apa yang terjadi ini adalah cara atau kifarah untuk menggugur kan dosa2 ko.. ingat kan??<br /><br />thought of writing more.. lengthy than this.. but.. the mood is like on off on off..<br />so.. i will jotted down one last phrase to keep reminding myself about it!!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">verily, with every difficulty, there is relief<span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span><br /><br />ALLAH repeated twice in the same surah.. must have meant something...unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-57084091395269158302010-12-30T10:36:00.000-08:002010-12-30T11:05:24.232-08:00giving in... literally..it's 2:36am. and i'm still wide awake.. eyes wide open.. and brain still functioning (tho i'm not sure how well it is spinning!) <br /><br />a lot of things.. i would like to pour out of my chest and hoping that tomorrow i wake up with a fresher-no-problems/issues transpired in my head.. at times i do longing for a amnesia syndrome so that i can forget everything that ever happened. or like a switch where i can practically switch on or off button or just change the synaptic cord whenever my mind bewildered to remember all those nasty, tragic stuffs that had happened especially for the last few weeks..<br /><br />but.. the thing is.. i regret the most.. i'm not a Good Muslim.. and frankly.. i didnt work things out to make me a better Muslim. instead, i'm jotting this frustration and anger down on this pad.. should i be on the sejadah or something???<br /><br />then.. come me as a person! i've changed.. totally 180 degree.. to become a person i never knew i am able to become.. like:<br />1. i stopped doing house chores once i know my bro and sis are at home.<br />2. i become soooo negative e.g: everything that i touched end up turning into craps!<br />3. i swears alot lately..<br />4. i lost half of the optimistic feeling of mine.. (thanks GOD i can be over-optimist, so at least i still have a good half of it!) <br />5. i stopped care... almost about everything... <br />6. i made reasons .. way too many reasons... most of the time..<br />7. i become so uncertain on what ever decision that i'm taking..<br />8. i stopped thinking clearly..<br />9. Self-hatred are sooooo common nowadays..<br />10. Losing focus.. and this has almost kill me...<br /><br />then.. my body start to react negatively.. started to work against the nature of things. and started to rebel against my own actions (sound wacko! yeap!)... <br />i know the symptoms are there already.. but how can i stop? i cant! not at the moment and at the point of time, where i've created a lot of craps already...<br />lucky i didnt straight away black-out.. what happened was crazy! <br />need to remind myself that:<br />1. table-top are not a very steady options for you to rely on, when you are trying to focus on what people are asking you.<br />2. you can hear a lot of noises .. altho people are throwing crucial questions about your stuffs! and u need to dance thru the waltz.. <br />3. U can be good at acting.. by trying not to fall..<br />4. you cannot sit on the floor of a QA place<br />5. make sure.. when it's time to lie down, u lie down..<br />6. Always remember.. if you started to feel uneasy and suddenly your body is shivering like mad! it means that u are having a fever!<br />7. Have guts to call for help, especially to call home FOR HELP!<br />8. u cannot pull the hand-pallet on your own back and forth..<br />9. take a deep breath when you started feeling a tight sense on your chest!<br />10. AND... IF YOU ARE MAD ENOUGH TO DRIVE UNDER SOME OF THE SYMPTOMS YOU ARE EXPERIENCING.. YOU ARE GOING TO BE A MURDERER!<br /><br />yeap.. 2011 is coming. and this incoming of a new year.. are not in a very comforting way. one after another trials come.. and you started to experience and coping on how to loss your love ones.. be it a long-lost cousin that you are so determine to help and you just found them back after almost 10 years of losing them..<br />or when you received the news of your grandpa, your only grandfather that you have known might be laying on his deathbed.. <br /><br />then.. u start wondering...<br />1. How come my body give in so much..<br />2. How come my mind also give up and started to become malfunction as well...<br />3. How come... all this while you never realise it.. <br />4. How come.. you are not the same person who wrote the notes more that a year ago, saying 'when people pushed me into the ravine, i will be and can climb back up the side of it, and stand tall'<br /><br />and you wonder:<br /><br />5. Is this what you want... <br /><br />i am losing lot of people recently.. being a mentor, a friend.. started to create some uneasiness in the profesional relationship.. hmmmph.. whining? pretty much..<br /><br />i know.. there's a lot of words.. words of wisdom.. motivational quotes that i would like to jotted it down on this pad also.. and i know for sure.. i can write a lot more to counter attack what i've just written as per above.. and i bet i know what to do already for now..<br />it's just.. i'm too cautious to make another mistake again.. i'm too scared to face the reality.. cause reality do bite...unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-14081754295887635822010-10-21T07:23:00.000-07:002010-10-21T07:38:05.670-07:00awak tahu....awak tahu...<br />bila saya dgr lagu-lagu meruntun hati nie, cepat sangat hati saya melayang2..<br />menjelma diingatan bila mana saya menarik bag, di tengah2 KLIA yg sunyi.. depan departure gate..<br />i'll be walking alone and on my own, with the boarding pass in my hand..<br />and waiting for the announcement to be heard from the surround system of speakers around the area..<br />it has ALWAYS been a dream to just pack and go.. <br />to just leave everything behind..<br />something inside of me just dying to go and run far far far away..<br />just to see the world, before it's too late..<br />just to see how's the other side looks like..<br /><br />nothing more that i can say..<br />yes.. i'm broken and hopelessly helpless..<br />those words are like a poison dagger that manage to leave an unhealed bruise thru my heart.. works like a curse encrypting my veins and cords..<br />am i really cant get myself back up? <br /><br />i am totally in denial if i kept saying that i'm ok, altho for the fact is.. i am not.<br />i truly love what i am doing.. but then again why is it so hard to at least accomplish? let alone .. excel in it..<br />where has the drivers, motivation, the energy, the chi, the yin yang of things have gone? where is it? really i wonder.. it's been a month.. <br />not that i'm NOT trying to gather all the strength back, not that i'm not trying to get back up.. but after all that happened i cant seems to go for it anymore.. <br />i cant seems to climb back the sloppy ravine that i've been pushed into..<br />it's all my fault.. <br />i cant blame anyone else..<br /><br />i just want to smile again.. sincerely..<br />i just want to let myself know that i can manage it!<br />i just want to excel in whatever that i am doing..<br />entahlah.. i know for the fact that i am nobody... <br /><br />the only thing left is ... this optimistic feeling of mine..<br /><br />i just want to fly off...unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-53398301828045113422010-09-28T08:16:00.000-07:002010-09-28T08:27:00.490-07:00i've learnt that... the hard way..why is it so hard for this little heart of mine, to just leave it as it is.. <br />why is it so hard for me to just drop it and make the best out of it..<br />the harder i try not to make reason for it, the more i've being pushed into making it.<br />the more i felt i'm reaching the vertical limit.. <br />the more i've being pulled down by an indescribable forces..<br />the more i try to let go, the more attached i am to it..<br /><br />i hate this feeling.. i hate myself for this..<br />i know that now, that it IS YOU who decide on what we are going to do..<br />i know that i can surrender at times, and will try further to make amendment in terms of that. but why is it so hard, just to give in for a chance. <br />why i think like crazy and then we went like crazy for another issues that made a maniac out of me.. <br /><br />i remember i used to find a reason to just rise back..<br />i remember i overcome even the most devastating time of one life.<br />this is very minor.. why is it sooooo hard..<br /><br />maybe it's because of the past sin i've done..<br />GOD, FORGIVE ME..<br /><br />i couldnt think anymore.. i was at the weakest point..<br />the thing that is so simple, and i've manage to make it a bit hard in terms of that.<br />the thing i hate the most, is the thing i love the most..<br /><br />i never am a quitter, that's for sure.. <br /><br />it's just at the very vulnerable moment.. i felt like a total failure.. =(unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-87192279756506227302010-04-29T15:03:00.001-07:002010-04-29T15:07:42.487-07:00why oh why?sometimes in life u just have to think.. think hard until your head explode...<div>hehehe..</div><div>sometimes it will just take a while for your heart to subside and be merry with whatever things that may come upon you..</div><div>trying so hard even if it's not for the good of yourself..</div><div>
<br /></div><div>hati ini sedang merindui... pada siapa? biarla rahsia... </div><div>kamu jauh dan semakin jauh... biarpun tiada beda terserlah di mata ini...</div><div>
<br /></div><div>why ? oh Why? entri emo ini menjadi tanda tanya..</div><div>
<br /></div><div>ada ke patut? merindu? tak patut.. pi la jumpa.. kecoh plak minah nie! </div><div>tp masa yg tak der..</div><div>patut kah ini diluahkan.. betapa rindu nya saya pada mu..</div><div>
<br /></div><div>tema dua 3 hari nie: SAYA MAHU HOLIDAY.. giler sgt nak bercuti. sampai keja menimbun kat ofis nie pun looks like a mere laughter to me. its' ok.. there's a training half a day.. no need to worry no more. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>i miss him... <bukan>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-74788353240723492162010-04-14T06:50:00.000-07:002010-04-14T07:04:30.967-07:00certain things...i've no idea why..<div>the news come to me like a wind hollow thru the nite..</div><div>when i heard the news, nothing struck in my mind..</div><div>no feeling at all..</div><div>no gestures what so ever..</div><div><br /></div><div>but now.. every possibilities come struck in front of my eyes.</div><div>the trauma around 15 years ago.. that feeling comes back without any invites..</div><div>u just wished that things could happen so rapidly, that you lose sight of it that will make u not bother about it at all..</div><div><br /></div><div>not now.. the time is just sooo not right.. not now.. at the moment where i felt like my world is almost collapsing down..</div><div>where i felt like i have no other way to move..</div><div>at times, where i am at the bottom of the hollowest pit of all..</div><div><br /></div><div>all my worries has been confirmed in a very beautiful manner.. the thing i love the most is actually killing me bits by bits every single day..</div><div>i couldnt do it.. something that is sooo hard for me to admit.. </div><div>i really cant do it.. no matter how hard i tried.. there's always possibilities that i end up jeopardising the whole things, making people hate me so much.. why? i just cant figure out.</div><div>the only person who didnt realised something bad will happen is ME.. everybody knows i'm in a deep s**t, but does this come into a reality check for me? no.. nada.. nothing at all...</div><div><br /></div><div>now with this news.. i cant seems to stay strong as before.. i cant seems to stand tall and endured those kinda hardship like before... why does this negatives thinking kept lingering in my mind???</div><div><br /></div><div>i am in denial.. trying to segregate personal life and professionalism.. yeah right! who are you kidding? </div><div><br /></div><div>maybe it's true.. i might as well give up for the sake of others.. </div><div><br /></div><div>dilemma? u are supposed to go back to HIM... DIA takkan lemparkan ujian yang tak mampu ditanggung hambaNYA, dan tidak pada hamba yang tidak disayangiNYA.....</div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-85687293436859467452010-02-15T04:24:00.000-08:002010-02-15T04:40:30.468-08:00memang budak nie dah rosak..what did i do on a 2-days public holiday?? nothing... <div><br /></div><div>hidup terasa lonely yang amat..</div><div>since when did i let myself be so miserable like this?</div><div>i have no idea..</div><div><br /></div><div>daripada tak buat apa mcm nie.. adalah lebih baik kalau ke office..</div><div>tp.. tidak.. saya masih merapu di rumah dengan sebemban baju yg hendak dilipat..</div><div><br /></div><div>tp.. dalam kebosanan ini, saya rasa lega.. for the first time in long period of time.. </div><div>saya dapat rehat yg secukupnya.</div><div>of course, dah menggelegak kepala saya pikir psal kerja.. tp hari nie.. saya jadi tak kisah..</div><div>saya pun tak tahu kenapa..</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>all i wanna do is sleep and bertafakur.. saya makan apa yg saya nak makan.. </div><div>saya tgk tv dengan penuh gembiranya..</div><div>i know my life would be a disastrous one this coming wednesday...</div><div>tp itulah saya tgh cuba memperbetulkan keadaan.</div><div><br /></div><div>saya banyak dosa.. sometimes i feel that i'm so far away from THE ONLY ONE. selalu terlupa akan nikmat yg telah diberikan... selalu rasa kekurangan.. </div><div>jgan Husna, bersyukur la, kerana apa yg kau ada ada LEBIH BANYAK YG AMAT SANGAT dr kebanyakan manusia di muka bumi ini..</div><div><br /></div><div>alhamdulillah... </div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-64790857278851377592010-02-14T07:42:00.000-08:002010-02-14T07:43:27.016-08:00Husna cuba buat aper hari nie?<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">apa saya cuba buat hari nie?</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">saya cuba:</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">1. untuk keluar dr rumah ini utk membuat sedikit shopping tanpa sebab..</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">2. untuk ke alamanda for a surprised, quick valentines lunch but somebody didnt pick up the phone.</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">3. untuk ke wangsa walk to jelajah tempat karok yg murah tue...</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">4. untuk ke OU, nak beli bedsheet baru..</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">5. untuk membasuh baju sekolah adik kesayangan ku itu..</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">6. untuk menyapu rumah atas ini...</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">7. untuk mop satu rumah ini... </span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">8. untuk mencuci mata melihat KL yg lengang...</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">9. untuk meng-iron baju yg sgt banyak ini..</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">10. untuk melipat baju....</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">tapi.. semua perancangan tidak kesampaian..</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">saya juga telah cuba:</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">~ untuk meng-clearkan my wardrobe to make some space for my new-upcoming-upbeat attires... tp saya hanya berjaya ketepikan 5 helai baju... sbb semua baju yg saya ada saya sgt sayang.. =) </span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">felix the cat bukan!</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">NAMUN DEMIKIAN, saya berjaya:</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">1. membasuh baju dengan banyak je (lipat je belum!)</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">2. mengemas almari in the midst of trying to get rid of the old stuffs..</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">3. order cheese meat balls with honey bbq chicken wings all to myself *saya tidak frust sgt!*</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">4. menonton marathon demi marathon ('how i met your mother mode')</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">5. blog hopping dr satu blog ke blog yg lain.. (avoiding all bride-to-be blogs!) </span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">6. merosakkan otak saya dengan memikirkan ttg keja saya di pejabat..</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">7. regret sikit sbb tak ikut adik2 and parents balik kg.. =( </span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">hmmmph.. that's how my CNY/valentines day goes by.. hope that you guys had a blast and:</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Gong Xi Fa Chai... =)</span></b></span></div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-82805022059952969892010-01-08T18:30:00.000-08:002010-01-08T18:54:22.319-08:00boleh tak??here are times when we feel that we are at the bottom of the deepest s***hole that ever made in the entire universe.. there are times where you just wanna sleep and never to be awake again..<div>there are times when things are just not on your side and you just have to deal with it.. it's like waiting for the bull to scram towards you and standing solely without avoiding the ramp. and at times it does feels like a train-wreckage...</div><div><br /></div><div>venturing into this new part of life was suprisingly ... painful.. suddenly i lost all my identity and not even realised what i've become... timid-ignorance-insecure-freak...</div><div>there are dark-gluey shadow covers every path that i'm about to take.. and i realised something..</div><div>i've been too scared to take any risks that i rather play it safe whenever possible... i stopped thinking because i know nothing good would come out from my idea.. i agonized myself in order to please and cater everybody but myself... i stop to care caused i've learnt that in this business there shall be no sympathy..</div><div><br /></div><div>i survived the gruesome 6 months.. i used to think that even when people tend to push me into the ravine, i will always manage to bring myself up again and stand tall...</div><div><br /></div><div>then again where has that feeling gone?? why do i have to be so pessimist that after a cruel push into the ravine this time around, i dare not to stand up again.. and suddenly realised, gosh, i am a mistake-phobic... i tend not to make room for mistakes EVER... which is damn un-realistic... </div><div>c'mon... how can you do things so perfectly well, whereas you've no idea what's the head and tail of it.. how can u make yourself so miserable of things that you are trying to learn..</div><div>seriously people, learning from experience is tough... </div><div><br /></div><div>BUT.. there's a bit of beauty part of it... u realised that these things will make you grow stronger. only time could tell when is this going to happen but.... u know, that u've ran that decathlon course on your own and THANK GOD there's people who could torch up your way...</div><div>learnt from mistake my dear... mistakes make u wiser...</div><div>even millionaire pun tak tahu baper kali dah bankrupt!</div><div><br /></div><div>yes.. it does feels oh sooo bad.. but if you keep avoiding the land mines, will u be able to work things out by staying tooooo low most of the time? can u ever keep up? </div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-90669012923248461732010-01-02T15:42:00.000-08:002010-01-02T15:49:23.214-08:00aiyoh... what happened??LOL...<div><br /></div><div>what had happened? why suddenly everything seems in the mess... what happened to the saying that 'i would like to bang into those trees, no matter hard the trunk is....'</div><div><br /></div><div>feeels so shitty inside that have no idea how far my body can take it..</div><div><br /></div><div>boleh tak stop fikir for a while... u know u'll mess up sooner or later.. </div><div><br /></div><div>takper la.. maybe it's for the best.... </div><div><br /></div><div>YA ALLAH aku berserah segalanya kepadaMU.. </div><div>wahai hati, minda, redha lah dengan setiap ketentuanNYA.</div><div>bukan semua benda dlm dunia nie, you are capable of.</div><div>i know it's hard to see things to go down.. </div><div>but... are you willing to see it poof just like that without even trying??</div><div><br /></div><div>~monologue of a broken heart~</div><div><br /></div><div>oh yeah.. happy 2010. alhamdulillah.. things are ok, it's just this stupid side of me that i'm trying to get rid off, is being sooooo stubborn.</div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-7301612788442775852009-12-22T14:23:00.000-08:002009-12-22T14:33:57.368-08:00one fine, super-hening morning...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;">this morning... </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;">i'm ready to go to work, but alas i'm stuck here in front of ayu's computer writting a bunch of unwanted stuffs...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;">i dont know where has this 'talent' of mine, writing to pour all the crumple things inside this aching heart of mine, has gone?? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;">i usually do that.. in a very stylish way... chewah!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;">not that i'm not grateful of what GOD has given me..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;">but as per current situation... i'm blurr... </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;">suddenly i turned into this very pessimist person that only darkness in my line of work. so afraid to touch the water, soo scared to go and pijak the land mines, the fear encrypted upon the wall of my heart.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;">suddenly, my brain also is not functioning berry well... thus, again... the decision-making component has totally broken and need a very good overhaul. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;">Ya ALLAH.. berikan la sedikit enlightment kepada budak mengong nie. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;">kenapa dier jadi terlalu negative? hasnt she learnt from the past? hasnt she seen enough? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;">dah lah.. pi la keja.. and doalah agar hari ini lebih baik dr hari2 semalam.. semoga segala urusan dipermudahkan. =) amin...</span></span></div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-66957657786556934872009-12-13T04:51:00.000-08:002009-12-13T04:55:28.832-08:00boleh tak??<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;">boleh tak kalau nak pergi dr sini sekarang???</span></b></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;">boleh tak kalau nak tinggalkan semua nya.. </span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;">and just go...</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;">boleh tak kalau hati ini stop torturing the head and just fly off..</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;">boleh tak kalau i nak evaporate into small particles of H2O and vanish..</span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><br /></span></b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;">why am i so in vain again???</span></b></span></div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-22474155173704691032009-12-06T06:05:00.000-08:002009-12-06T07:06:45.552-08:00memoir of a cliche moments...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7hxlMTcySdHSXVWanZfrd64bFaAGYMnFElD4Qbi41ljC2GuZI8-gKtRp0V9xgY6MWj_ngRZq5Z0Gpv2G3ya_wGhkq765kSHQgqJYIm2PAEXOxHCk3Sshk58_99o4Pd3rY1ly9vnr2JhWp/s1600-h/serabut.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7hxlMTcySdHSXVWanZfrd64bFaAGYMnFElD4Qbi41ljC2GuZI8-gKtRp0V9xgY6MWj_ngRZq5Z0Gpv2G3ya_wGhkq765kSHQgqJYIm2PAEXOxHCk3Sshk58_99o4Pd3rY1ly9vnr2JhWp/s320/serabut.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5412131616186912738" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">it's so cliche.. so predictable and sooooo typical of husna...</span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">the feeling of running away, leaving everything behind as she started to feel attach to it...</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">so many times that she strive to maintain this abnormal habit..</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">like the time she had this crush with a guy, and purposely cut-off all connections just so that she wont get her heart hurt, even when she realised she never tried to open-up to him..</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">or when she wished she had a brain-anuemerism so that she will loss her memory and forgot a bunch of friends (who btw, mistreated her) ~ she did forget them, but her brain veins are still intact.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">or when she has found something she is cherishly doing </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">but </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">just because </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">SHE </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">foresees that she couldnt do it, or THINKs that she might not be able to perform as good, she starts jeopardising it. (note: THOUGHTS can be dangerous. jgn ikut gaya budak ini!)</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">the thing is.. she wishes/prays very hard so that she will continue doing things she is currently juggling. she loves her job.... she really do, but the walking-into-the-wall-and-bang-herself-hard routines have finally got half of the best part of her... (yeah, my head hurts to!)</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">she has the love of her life.. but what she's currently doing? </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">she's pushing him away.. away from her.. why? </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">1. she's such a drama-queen.. a bad one..</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">2. she's so afraid of getting hurt that she forgot that only thru heartache that one can learn to stand and face the world.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">3. he's not for her (ada yg lebih baik untuk si dia!) </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">the only thing she could think of is....</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">she just wanna go away.. she just wanna leave, grab her purse, get a credit card (sempat lagi tue), get into one of those plane and fly off.. tak kira la mana plane tue nak landing, dier rela pegi... right now, she's willing to join MERCY/UNESCO/or any other NGO so that she can get the hell out of here. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">dah lama dah dia rasa, tempat ini.. bukan untuknya. tanah ini memang tanah bertuah. tp tanah bertuah ini bukan untuk dia buat sementara waktu ini.. bukan tak bersyukur dengan kurniaan TUHAN atau takdirNYA, but her heart is no longer here... mengapa???</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">now she is currrently listening to selena-</span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V49TmmpMz34"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">no mor quedamas</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">.. and that tune stuck in her head. and the melody really tells her to go.. just run.. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">but the irony is: the farthest place on earth you can go is only a step away.. bumi nie kan bulat...</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';color:#CC0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-82439403939159191462009-11-06T13:57:00.000-08:002009-11-06T14:36:08.568-08:00something within, being forced to come out...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;color:#663366;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>had this weird dreams lately....</b></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;color:#663366;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>most of the time my dreams would involve something to do at work.</b></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;color:#663366;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>so when i dream of something else, it could make up my day.</b></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;color:#663366;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>oh yeah; talking bout work.. it's tough and I AM SOO struggling but yet, i'm still wanna be there, wanna make it thru.. hmmph...</b></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;color:#663366;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>typical: if u have fallen in love with something, u'll try as hard as u could not to let go. currently.. 2 months to go before the contract ends.. *sigh*</b></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;color:#663366;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i>enough about that...</i></b></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i>i have this feeling.. of something so badly wanna come out...</i></b></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i>kak jude said it's the bad side of me that really wanna take over..</i></b></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i>not that kinda of crime baddy thingy.. (altho there are times where i was thinking of scratching somebody's car!)</i></b></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i>it's hard to describe... ok.. here's the list of things, i really wanna do:</i></b></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>1. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#993300;"><b>Car - Gokart racing...</b></span></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>i never enjoyed watching race car show, but people who have ride with me, knows pretty well how i steer my ride! =) i fell asleep during jammed, and when there's a clear highway, i dont mind going up to 160km/h.. kesian 'blue omnibus' itu.. =)</i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>it's a way of releasing yourself from anger and frustration, in a very dangerous attitude...</i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>that's why i need to join this racing business...</i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>2. <b>Travel</b></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>every morning when i'm off to work, i will see a plane flying by in that light blue colour sky at least once.. from firefly to Thai air, it never stopped amaze me on how can people afford such a trip.. i am so gonna get onto one of those plane and just go.. i've planned a trip to UK. so wish me luck, hope that i can be there 2011. =)</i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>3. go for a wild night in KL..</i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>go figure!</i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>4. Driving aimlessly until the tip of North Asia and patah balik...</i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>ada jalan ke? =P</i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>5. and scuba diving... and try to live under water for a while. =0</i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';color:#990000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></span></div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-73735283309667024582009-09-06T18:26:00.000-07:002009-09-06T18:55:14.418-07:00.... weird.. a bridezilla to be....tak tahu aku nak salahkan sapa..<div>tak tahu kenapa aku begini.. </div><div>tak tahu sejak bila aku jd silent reader future blog bride to be ini..</div><div><br /></div><div>but as far as i'm concern...</div><div>i'm hooked up..</div><div>i cannot seems to stop smiling when reading about the journey made by some of them..</div><div>sesetengah tue dah selamat dah jadi mrs...</div><div><br /></div><div>entah kenapa.. </div><div>aku dah mcm nak suh je dia yg ku sayang, masuk minang cepat2...</div><div>dah tak tahan nak menanggung asmara..</div><div>lama benar rasanya 2-3 thn tue...</div><div>hehehe.. GILER la! bulan pose kot nie...</div><div>tp itu lah perasaaan nyer...</div><div><br /></div><div>i was soooooooooo in love browsing one wedding pics after another..</div><div>that i also involved in making my big day .. THE BIG DAY EVER IN MY LIFE...</div><div><br /></div><div>lepas tue smlm dgr citer ada kawan aku nak tunang..</div><div>lagi la membuak2 rasa nak ikut jejak langkah sama... </div><div>pulak dah... hehehehe.... </div><div><br /></div><div>husna... seorang gadis lincah yang mmg gila..</div><div>straight forward, transparent and sangat2 independent when come to life...</div><div>dia seorang yg boleh gegarkan dunia dgn tawa, hiruk pikuk nyer..</div><div>sometime sgt insensitive ttg orang lain, ignorance (sbb tak nak cari pasal!)..</div><div>chameleon (bukan camelia)... can blend in almost anything...</div><div><br /></div><div>tapi... bila dengan dia......</div><div>budak mengong nie jadi bertambah gedix...</div><div>sbb dier dah biasa jadi tempat bergantung, bila dgn dia..</div><div>budak nie jadi clingy yang amat sangat...</div><div>jadi manja tak tentu pasal... and of course so much in love..</div><div><br /></div><div>when i started working 2 months ago (whooaaa!), i kinda becoming very busy...</div><div>and dia rasa terpinggir...</div><div>sebab husna ripaai dah develop perangai workaholic yg diperturunkan oleh abah dier (ada gak 2!)... so... dia rasa kehilangan bila mana diri ku tak lagi menghantar sms seperti selalu..</div><div>bila malam... terasa lebih hening, sbb i arrived home je, mmg terus kroih kroih~ tak sedar ada dia menanti ku...</div><div><br /></div><div>now dia baru seminggu keja...</div><div>and budak mengong nie DAH rasa tak keruan..</div><div>tambah2 lagi bila dia mengatakan 'begini la abg rasa bila ayg keja'...</div><div>at least dia bleh control... dier masih menerima...</div><div>dia masih kata : tak per abg paham. tak per.. abg tahu ayg penat....</div><div><br /></div><div>tp... oh tidak bagi diriku..</div><div>lebih2 lagi hari cuti begini...</div><div>aku menahan diri je nie, untuk tidak start keta dan drive all the way to salak tinggi ......</div><div>i rela you..</div><div><br /></div><div>it's been 3 months since our REAL outing together... (air mata start bertakung!) </div><div>mmg la dier datang jumpa 15 mins di s'alam hari tue... </div><div>i was soooo over the moon sampai mcm melayang2 hari tue...</div><div><br /></div><div>mmg la dier ada masa konvo and spend the whole morning with me..</div><div>tp it's not the same...</div><div>tahun nie mesti tak dapat berbuka sama2..</div><div>tahun nie mesti tak dapat kasut raya lagi..</div><div>i remember the 1st kasut dier belikan..</div><div>it was gorgeous... </div><div><br /></div><div>thank you sayang.... thank u so much...</div><div><br /></div><div>please take my hand and take me away.... please.. i'm waiting.... dont kept me waiting for so long.</div><div><br /></div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-21450813712605879812009-08-21T17:30:00.000-07:002009-08-21T18:13:41.905-07:00evry downside has its own upside..it was a rough week..<div>i <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">brokedown</span>, feeling like just flying off somewhere...</div><div>it all started when i have to cancel my half-day leave on the day my friends were gathering taking pictures all over <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">ukm</span> and deliberately post it on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">facebook</span>...</div><div>not that it's their fault but... it was supposed to be my moment too.</div><div>i was supposed to be in the pic with them..</div><div>i was supposed to go <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">gedix</span>2 with them.. i was supposed to be there...</div><div><br /></div><div>at first i <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">couldnt</span> care less, i thought.. things need to be sacrifice as it was my responsibility...</div><div>then.. i found out that it was a STUPID mistake done by someone.. </div><div>and as that day went by, by 5pm i feel like exploding already... </div><div>something inside wanna come out but i <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">wasnt</span> sure what it was... </div><div>i was shivering, trying to hold the anger within me..</div><div>i have to fight myself to withheld my tears..</div><div>to cope with this i bought a cake... just to make me feel much better..</div><div><br /></div><div>things couldnt get any worse..</div><div>everything was just pouring in and i acted as if i couldnt see it coming... </div><div>although i already knew..</div><div>somewhere during this week, i was like a lost child trying to figure out ways thru the jungle. </div><div>every turn i made, i bang into a tree, i saw dead end.. </div><div>and a part of my brain component called decision-maker has malfunctioned. </div><div>worst still = i have to take the blame.. i have to swallow everything... and not being able to explain the whole situation..</div><div><br /></div><div>i was so broken, that i went to sleep by the tasik shah alam.</div><div>i was so broken that i sat on the kitchen floor, crying not knowing what to do or say.</div><div>everything i touched or just being involved resulting in a piece of craps..</div><div>like a jinx.. and suwey like that... </div><div>and working around people who seem to have answers to everything = did not bright up the day.</div><div>and seeing that only when your superiors were around, then only your boat can sailed smoothly, as if you're useless and couldnt seem to move the boat on your own, made matters worst! =(</div><div><br /></div><div>but the aftermath....</div><div><br /></div><div>suddenly.. i feel like 'hey, it's ok. at least u made it thru in one piece'..</div><div>the last day of the week, i couldnt care less. the day was so alive and lovely, that i was just smiling all day long. i dont give a damn of what people said, i was being myself... </div><div>as sudden as it came up to me, it goes away so rapidly also..</div><div><br /></div><div>there's a sudden gush of feeling that invented itself inside me, that tells me.. not to be afraid anymore. not to have this negative issues anymore... just go try to bang into those tree and u'll learnt how to avoid it the next time you're in the area. there's a spirit within so eager to take whatever challenges served that i could just said 'sir, can i do the technical release the next time around?' ... =)?</div><div><br /></div><div>all seems not too scary anymore.. whatever heartache or bruises or cuts i got, heals on their own.</div><div>the only thing i'm uncertain is my intra-relationship with people close by.. (but, i figure it out later!)</div><div>i got a chance to shift things up, although i'm not so sure whether it's too late or not.. BUT i have to try.</div><div>i have a chance to look things in a very different perspective.. =)</div><div>that's supposed to be good, kan?</div><div>berkat hikmah mulia Ramadhan nie kot, yg buat hamba hina dina nie realise things.</div><div>Alhamdulillah. </div><div><br /></div><div>hey in the end.. it is just work.... =)</div><div>go ahead and make my day... bring it on!</div><div><br /></div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-43207297525146336202009-08-15T16:33:00.000-07:002009-08-15T17:14:05.115-07:00Husna Ripaai yg Bengong!entah kenapa hari n ie aku rasa macam nak makan orang je..<div>bengang kan main...</div><div>lepas tue aku rasa stupid, silly and dont know what to expect...</div><div>rasa mcam nak dissapear je..</div><div><br /></div><div>kenapa la aku ada ego sebegini tinggi..</div><div>kenapa la aku ada perangai pelik nie! </div><div>kenapa la aku sayang sgt keja tue??</div><div>kenapa la... afer all those nightmare,panic , bomb attack pouring onto me, i still going back there without hesitant...</div><div>macam orang kat gaza strip tue, kena bomb banyk kali lari...</div><div>aku kena la mcm mana pun, aku duk stay kat situ gak.. bodoh tak aku??</div><div><br /></div><div>tp.. lain nyer minggu depan nie... semangat yg aku pupuk for one week leps mmg dah mula evaporate. </div><div>just because of that one miserable phone call, i'm back to where i was before ~self-defenseless-inferior-stupid newcomer! </div><div>i know i should not let those thing accumulate in my mind, but entah lah........</div><div>sekali lagi rasa kena crush.. sekali lagi rasa kena pijak2 cmm semut... </div><div><br /></div><div>masalah ini takkan berlaku kalau Husna Ripaai tidak mempunyai EGO yg tinggi mcm pokok kelapa tue... ia takkan terjadi kalau dgn budak bengong nie, tak der high expectancy of what she is responsible to do...</div><div><br /></div><div>giler2 tak giler... after that phone call, i rushed from putrajaya with phone at hand and at 130km/hr. speed limit mmg tak pernah wujud dlm kehidupan husna sekarang nie. tak terbilang la saman budak nie nnt. vrooooom.... sampai office, dgn baju kurung nyer aku masuk plan, redah cage tue sorang2 mencari barangan yg diperlukan... mmg dah rasa bahang dah masa tue.. nasib baik sempat. tp. confirm tajuk utama nnt: ada seorang budak mcm org tak betul nak menyediakan reference sample tue.. (it was a silly move!) </div><div><br /></div><div>but.. let make things clear..</div><div>1. aku buat sebab aku dah nampak consequences nyer nnt.. what if bulk tue tak sama mcm reference? tak naya aku?? BUKAN sebab NAK IMPRESS. just to AMMEND~</div><div><br /></div><div>2. aku call semua orang yg bleh bantu aku buat keputusan nie.. and yes, from my side, i made a right decision.</div><div><br /></div><div>3. aku buat satu lg keputusan bodoh dengan memberitahu pakcik mukmin sayang tue ttg tindakan aku! satu benda yg aku takkan buat lagi...</div><div><br /></div><div>4. masalah ini berlaku sebab aku baca email mcm budak darjah 1. terlalu occupied dgn WC sampai aku lupo benda lain yg akan berlaku... and aku mmg TAK tahu prod kena ada ref sample masa mixing... (goblox!)</div><div><br /></div><div>5. benda ini takkan berlaku lagi.. tolong la husna... take one step at a time please.... supaya ko bleh cover semua benda.</div><div><br /></div><div>agaknyer.. terkejut beruk pakcik tue dgn tindakan aku. speechless dier.. aku pun sama... </div><div>wakaka.. tp Husna Ripaai mmg daring dr dulu lagi... </div><div>mmg dah salah aku tak check betul2... dah salah aku lambat tangkap apa yg aku kena buat...</div><div><br /></div><div>aku mmg tak sabar nak tunggu esok... cepat lah esok habih supaya aku leh berkonvo... </div><div>aku suka keja nie, but somehow.. aku dah start jeopardising it.. so plan B start now..</div><div>aku kena tanya Mel mcm mana dier nak dapatkan scholar amik MA kat UK tue.. </div><div>aku mmg tak nak buat lagi MA nie, but somehow kalau orang dah tak nak amik aku.. takkan aku nak melongo tak buat apa2 kot.. </div><div><br /></div><div>mungkin juga cara aku keja nie, is because for the fact that aku hanya 6 bulan kat situ.. so aku nak grab semua opportunity yg ada utk mempelajari bidang yg mmg aku suka... so aku jadi overly-multi-tasking... =P</div><div>betul gak kata kawan2 aku... i AM toooooooo into work lately nie.. which is not good. </div><div>KONVO pun aku mcm tak peduli sangat (for the fact that it will be on tuesday and petang and my loved ones cannot make it)... tp serious.. kalau korang jumpa apa yg aku jumpa nie, korang juga akan berperangai sebegini.. mungkin tak seganas/sebodoh aku but... u'll see.. =)</div><div><br /></div><div>biarla.. aku dah tak mampu nak ammend or narrow down the gap between us.. working style yg amat berbeza mmg telah membuat kan aku sgt berbeza. itu pun aku nampak aku sorang je berusaha utk mencari focal point where aku tak rasa weird sgt approaching him or others kat office tue... so.. prinsip aku seterusnya: i'll be more focusing on my learning and my works which i'm truly dedicated to (for now..) rather than trying to find ways to work with people..hehehehe...</div><div><br /></div><div>aku tak suka di-provoke teruk2 sgt.. kejap lagi aku akan bertukar jadi kasar, arrogance and sarcastic.. this Husna is the one i've been trying to kill for as long as i could remember. mungkin i can combine this double personality and semua org akan jadi happy... masalahnya...</div><div>alter-ego Husna sgt tak berhati perut. dier tak amik port pun perasaan orang..</div><div>and nampak gayanya... aku dah start nak bertukaq ke arah itu kembali.... NO WAY! </div><div>lama kot aku mould Husna yg sekarang nie.. lama kot aku buat research and study on how to blend it with grace and likelihood yg semua org tak kira peringkat umur bleh kerja and selesa dgn aku supaya keja aku senang!</div><div><br /></div><div>entahlah... rasa keliru gak nie. but.. truly.. i feel so de-motivated. rasa mcm aku tak tahu buat apa pun. rasa mcm nak tido je.. wahai mata, hati mahu menangis tp mengapa engkau menahannya?</div><div><br /></div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-19380956372800506902009-08-08T02:10:00.000-07:002009-08-08T02:22:45.904-07:00mimpi yang bengong..i was at a hotel attending a conference..<div>i saw friends..</div><div>new and old...</div><div><br /></div><div>somehow, i am still being chase, to complete my task.</div><div>somehow.. i saw the checklist, i need to do next week.</div><div>somehow in that hotel they are serving white coffee and kopi tarik..</div><div>somehow, the lift in the hotel sounds like the lift in the HOU.</div><div><br /></div><div>and then, i was driving home..</div><div>someone i know by pass me, and i clearly saw his car.</div><div>he was driving in to my residential..</div><div>and i clearly know why.. i was driving recklessly...</div><div><br /></div><div>then, i pass thru a sharp corner (which exist in reality)...</div><div>and i saw his car bang into a tree..</div><div>i stopped.. somebody screaming 'get help..get help'...</div><div>i was the first one to his car, i open the door, calling out his name..</div><div>and he said 'i'm going to release you......'</div><div><br /></div><div>~i woke up, with heavy breath.. gasping for air...</div><div>i reached for my phone, to wish 'have a safe trip'..</div><div>and then i realised....</div><div><br /></div><div>'hey, u are not a friend'........</div><div><br /></div><div>i put down my phone and seriously, now.... i am just plain nuts!</div><div><br /></div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-56150843689410720652009-08-02T06:18:00.000-07:002009-08-02T06:23:42.622-07:00pra-monolog..hari itu bermula macam biasa.. pukul 6.45, kereta biru itu sudah memecut meninggalkan perkarangan. kenapa awal sangat, soalan biasa dr ibu.. jawapan normal juga diberikan...<div>nak elak jammed...</div><div><br /></div><div>tapi hari itu, ada sedikit luar biasa juga..</div><div>jantung berdegup kencang...</div><div>entah kenapa ada je org rasa aku akan screw up sooner or later..</div><div>am i going to???</div><div><br /></div><div>entahlah..</div><div><br /></div><div>aku berharap taufiq dan hidayah dariNYA..</div><div>tiada daya kita tanpa kuasaNYA...</div><div>DIA akan tunjukkan jalan cerah di hadapan..</div><div>sekiranya kita berusaha untuk melalui jalan itu..</div><div><br /></div><div>tawakal je lah una ooooi.... u can do it!~ yes you can!</div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-5757360162171865432009-08-02T05:42:00.000-07:002009-08-02T06:03:41.671-07:00pada sapa patut aku luahkan...giler la....<div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">dr smlm hati aku nie meruntun sedih..</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">abg sayang aku pun tak larat nak layan dah..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">aku asyik bebel benda yg sama...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">kenapa susah sangat aku nak let go nie..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">kenapa payah sgt aku nak terima hakikat yg 'aku bukan hidup/kerja sendirian lagi nie!'</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">aku boleh terima kritikan.. tp kritikan itu berjaya bunuh aku daaaa...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">dan yang lebih pelik..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">semakin complicated benda tue, semakin membuak2 rasa nak tahu aku...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">semakin mencabar challenge yg diberikan, semakin eager aku nak menghadapinyer..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">sampai satu tahap, aku tahu kepala and badan aku tak leh nak terima dah! ish ish ish.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">muahohoho.. and korang nak tahu yg bertambah weird nyer???</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">aku dah head over heal dgn apa yg sedang aku lakukan..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">sampaikan ahad pun aku rasa lambat sgt berlalu... siap doa.. cepat lah isnin, cepatlah isnin... yg menariknya.. bnyk benda yg aku akan perolehi.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">bnyk benda yg aku tahu aku akan gemari..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">plant tue dah jadi mcm playground aku.. tiap kali aku masuk je ke dalam plant, aku jumpa my work-space.. my solitude... walhal bising dier bleh pecah gegendang telinga... tiap2 pagi aroma kopi yg fresh menusuk kalbu, membuatkan aku tambah kejang utk berada di situ.. =) TUHAN je yg tahu betapa aku berharap utk jadi permenant kat situ..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">tapi...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">kenapa susah sangat untuk aku hadapi homo sapiens nie...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">kenapa aku jadi inferior tak tentu pasal.. somehow.. along the way, for the last one month, aku berubah menjadi somebody yg aku sendiri tak kenal... </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">pandang cermin nampak bridget jones, pandang cermin nampak jim carrey dlm me, myself and irene tue... </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">aku berjaya create HUSNA yg aku tak suka semata2 aku kena jaga hati orang..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">aku berjaya merundumkan paras keyakinan aku, ke tahap yang paling rendah mcm BSKL masa gawat dulu...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">aku berjaya merosakkan that fun-loving me, which will find it easier to interact with people... i flushed down my ego for the sake of the thing i love doing..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">at the end of the day, i asked me back..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">was it worth it? really.. your plan of becoming someone u dont even recognize will it work? does it help u improve somehow? does it does it?</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">nak kata PMS, dah nak hujung2 dah... </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">but one thing for sure... kritikan tak berasas tue kadang2 sangat boleh membunuh..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">so lepas nie, muka aku akan jadi slumb je, with no other emotion to be potrayed. nanti org kata aku rude plak.. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">i've tried to be as plain-as transparent as i could, but somehow that doesnt work....</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">u lose it boy...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">the more barricade you put around me, the harder for you to get to know me... </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">that's for sure... sorry la.. my barricade is even higher and tougher...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:180%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-18955262889175068662009-06-15T02:34:00.000-07:002009-06-15T02:56:53.944-07:00....an ending, or a starting point.....desiran ombak membasahi kaki ku. langit senja makin malap namun aku masih di sini, menyusuri pantai berpasir putih... sesekali terdengar kuak bunyi sang enggang dan <i>pelican </i>bergemersik di ruang angkasa. terpaling aku melihat ciptaan TUHAN. betapa besarnya alam ciptaanNYA...<div>indah nian, permai dan tak terkata damainya..</div><div><br /></div><div>ku lihat anak-anak kecil berlari berkejaran sesama sendiri, terus bermain tanpa peduli panggilan ibu di tepi.. membawa aku mengimbau.. alangkah bahagianya zaman itu.. </div><div>tak perlu risau, tiada gusar.... tiada dugaan yang betul2 susah.. tiada kesusahan yang melanda..</div><div>aku juga pernah seperti mereka... bermain dengan tawa ria, ikhlas dan istimewa bagi diriku..</div><div><br /></div><div>ku susuri lagi pantai ini.. terpandang pula pasangan dua sejoli duduk merapati.. Nauzubillah.. tatkala senja begini? bukan kah itu bisa mendatangkan erti yang tidak digemari... tidak kah mereka tahu berduanya mereka akan tiba orang ketiga... </div><div>aah.. yang ketiga sudah muncul... anak kecil yang merengek2 memanggil mama dan papanya.. </div><div>ah, cepat benar diri ini membuat konklusi! sudah timbul prasangka yang boleh menaikkan amarah.. cepat2 aku menginsafi diri...</div><div><br /></div><div>namun.. melihat itu.. entah kenapa bergenang air mata ku.. benar kah aku seorang prejudis? benarkah aku seorang hipokrit memandang enteng kehidupan ku sendiri? benarkah aku alpa mendalami setiap hati yang menyanyangi diri ini.. aku lelah sendiri...</div><div><br /></div><div>saat bahagia itu.. sudah lama berlalu... aku tiada mengharap pada masa lampau.. mungkin... ia satu pengakhiran kepada setiap kebahagiaan yang pernah dikecapi.. mungkin juga ia satu permulaan kepada duka lama yang senantiasa berdarah... mungkin... mungkin....</div><div><br /></div><div>kerana tragedi itu, aku di sini.. kerana air mata sayu, aku pergi...</div><div>kerana hati ini tak terdaya lagi, aku berlari... berlari jauh... dari bumi bertuah ini....</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">***end of chapter 1***</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><i>~ to be continued ~</i></div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-16715092873565553172009-06-02T04:36:00.000-07:002009-06-02T18:11:33.394-07:00down the memory lane....<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;">forever love..</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;">i was driving thru bangi alone just now..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;">and suddenly... something hits me..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;">flashes of memories past me by.. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;">as if i was in a time tunnel or time-machine.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;">and so happen (although i know it is just in my head!)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jogDu4vTVhI">'my memory'</a>, a song in Winter Sonata, harmoniously feels the air.. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;">hahahaha... ('',) </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;">memories... surprise birthday party for amy.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;">doing stupid acting scene on the bridges of putrajaya..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;">naik motor keliling kampung till it's totally dark outside (i mean really dark!) </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;">bagi makan anak ikan (in putrajaya).</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;">play2 along the roadside..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;">jalan cari makanan around Bangi..</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;">huhuhuhu... missing the good all days...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><br /></span></div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-82792901739977827642009-05-26T02:48:00.000-07:002009-05-26T03:04:22.628-07:00my current living... sorority? i think NOT.. =)whoaaaaa...<div><br /></div><div>lama giler aku tak bukak blog nie.</div><div>it seems like almost a year ago and now i'm trying to revive up this blog of mine.</div><div>all of because kengkwan pi buh link to their blogs dekat FB depa, and suddenly, aku teringat</div><div>'eh.. aku pun ada blog gak!'.. wakakakaka!</div><div><br /></div><div>haaaaaaaaaaaa... la nie maih cheq habaq mai..</div><div>of what's currently going on in my life..</div><div>not that anybody will seem to care.. but... what the heck... hehehe!</div><div>Sekadar nak mengurangkan kekusutan di hati yg duka lara nie.. wahahaha! </div><div><br /></div><div>Aku sekarang merupakan tukang masak paling kelakar dlm sejarah rumah en ripaai/pn bidari.</div><div>Sebab aku hanya nak masak je.. dah dua minggu duk umah, aku baru sekali je kot pegang penyapu. ada la curi2 ngelat mengerjakan baju kotor. wahaha.. semua tugas itu aku serah kan secara dominan pada adik2 aku yang teramat la comel dan cute miut tue.. wakakaka! </div><div>abah kata aku aci 'mengayam'/'chickening' = curi tulang wat kerja rumah yg lain.</div><div><br /></div><div>so aku tanya diri aku.. kenapa aku malas sangat nak mengemas nie??? kenapa susah sgt aku nak melipat and meng-iron baju yang sebakul besar banyaknyer nie?? the answers are simple:</div><div><br /></div><div>1. aku tak suka lipat baju. mak kata aku lipat tak elok.</div><div>2. clothes duty tak pernah tamat.. dari hari ke hari..</div><div>3. mengemas?/ esok2 semak balik...</div><div>4. try to live with two of my hooligans...</div><div><br /></div><div>5. you'll find your space and solitude whenever you're in the kitchen, cooking... at least for me that is.. wakaka! =)</div><div><br /></div><div>eh.. kenapa aku merapu nie, u guys asked? sebab i am currently a non-worker, penanam anggur, driver, tukang kebun, tukang cuci paling maju kat rumah nie.. cuma..</div><div>I'm not always available.. hihihihihi! =P</div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-12884595106526851922009-05-26T02:45:00.000-07:002009-05-26T02:46:21.021-07:00trying to revive...pin pom pon..<div>trying to revive up my blog..</div><div><br /></div><div>just a place to share thoughts... </div><div><br /></div><div>take care...</div>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1592915309062087078.post-69915655003473615722008-07-14T20:23:00.000-07:002008-07-14T20:36:24.734-07:00aku yg kebosanan...dear mint,<br /><br />aku kebosanan..<br />tgk org lain main blog..<br />aku pun mem-blog sama..<br />walhal aku ada banyak kerjaya yg kena disettle kan..<br />dah lah kelas kul 12pm-2pm..<br />mata aku dah tak nampak mcm nak buka nie..<br />hahaha.. lantak la. nnt bapak tiri aku jegil mata kat aku, tahu la aku terjaga dgn malu nye~<br />wakaka!<br /><br />ALHAMDULILLAH... semua masalah yg dtg telah dapat ku selesaikan. ALLAH itu MAHA PENYAYANG.<br />aku hambaNYA yang paling hina dina nie tp rahmatNYA yg aku kecapi seluas langit alam semesta. aku malu... malu yg amat sgt...<br />sepatutnya aku menjadi muslimah yg lebih solehah. nie tidak... hantu pun kalah kalau dgn aku.<br />aku berdoa agar ALLAH ampun kan semua dosa-dosa ku.<br /><br />tp thesis aku tak settle lagi..<br />kalu aku tulih kat blog nie, sure aku boring nak baca.. wakaka!<br />tawakal je lah..<br /><br />nie ada beberpa perkara yg aku tgh pk:<br /><ol><li>aku blurr, tak tahu kenapa...</li><li>kak aishah present LI esok, aku? dua minggu lagi..</li><li>mesya lah penyebab aku tulis blog nie hari nie.</li><li>harap dr sahila ada lah tajuk n sudi jadi supervisor thessis aku.</li><li>harap aku ada peluang utk bekerja dgn prof salam lagi di satu masa kelak.</li><li>bilik aku kat burhan tak de penyapu.</li><li>aku bnyk keja dgn limited budget, tp kenapa aku merapu kat CC nie lagi?</li><li>Doa ku agar kesihatan mak berterusan dan pintu rezeki abah terbuka kembali..</li><li>haaa... aku dah bagitu mak no pin atm banks aku. so kalau apa2 jadi, senang la nak amik. </li><li>AKU RINDU PAK CIK TARAK BETUL KU....</li></ol><p> </p><p>confession 0f a drama Queen!</p>unanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359371862240695474noreply@blogger.com0