ordeal..`

am not sure what to write anymore..
whether the feelings should be poured out here..
also i dont know..

the feeling of suddenly knowing that you are the culprit.
that have hurts most of the people you've love.
couldnt be any tougher to go thru..

life apparently has been really challenging..
the thoughts of injustice and how hurtful your heart is.. really has made my day turns gloomy and blue. oh yeah. like this afternoon..

why? i may ask.. how come those words have really eaten me alive?
how come.. if it's true, how come i didnt realise it sooner...
how come things got really complicated?
how come, INCIDENTS like this happened in every 2-3 years?
why?

Astaghfirullah.. Husna.. you are talking like a person with no faith nor religion. you have the ultimate guidance, sebaik-baik pelindung, sebaik-baik tempat mengadu..
mengadu la PADA DIA.. sesungguhnya apa yang terjadi ini adalah cara atau kifarah untuk menggugur kan dosa2 ko.. ingat kan??

thought of writing more.. lengthy than this.. but.. the mood is like on off on off..
so.. i will jotted down one last phrase to keep reminding myself about it!!!

verily, with every difficulty, there is relief

ALLAH repeated twice in the same surah.. must have meant something...